More Writing About My Depression

Honey, am I an artist?

Was Van Gogh a "painter", even though he never sold any of his work?
By that, I mean did he tell people he was painting as a means of living, or working?

I believe I am an unrecognized artist
No money has found its way to my pocket
No Genius Grants have been given to me to pay my bills
I will likely have to move in with my mother in about six months, when my Dad's life insurance money runs out
But still
But still
I am a writer and an artist

I told my new therapist on Wednesday how I talk to your pictures much of the day
And believe me, she thought that was mighty strange
She doesn't know who or what's going on in the world
I suppose she has never seen "Enemy of the State", a great Will Smith movie from 14 years ago
That describes my situation perfectly
(Can you imagine the new technology that's come out since then?)
But still
But still
I am a writer and an artist

If I work and work and work
Something memorable will come
I believe

Writing About My Depression

Showering every three days
If then
Vegatative state most of the time
In bed or on the couch
Eyes closed, thinking thinking thinking
About why I can't move
Please get up and do something, Joe
I can't I can't I can't
I don't have the energy
I don't have any energy
Knowing what to do
And I'm not able
The pain in my head
From being such a slug
I would not wish on anyone
Especially myself

How do you take a shower when you're depressed?
I don't know
How do you get up and do something
When your schedule is empty all day
And no one seems to care if you lie there for the next 26 hours
My phone never rings
Except for three credit card companies looking for money
That I owe them

My pain is awesome
Is huge
Is riveting and strange
Is too much for anyone to understand
Or relate to

Today I move (not wake, but move) at 1pm
Maria is playing tennis on tv
Does she ever have a bad day, a day like I have most of the time?
Her drive, her will of steel is too much for bum and a loser like me to grasp
But I'll bet I seem strange to her, too
"Why don't you get up and get on with your life, Joe?"
Why don't I?
I don't know, Maria
It's all so painful and swollen and sick
In my head

I take a shower
I do
And feel better to be a little cleaner
Now what? I have nothing to do all day
Unemployable unfriendable unknowable hateable
Disagreeable angry no....on edge would be a better way to put it
On edge
Not suicidal
Just in pain

Old Man Take A Look At Myself

I am scared, my love
I am thinking I may be losing it
Swiftly
Was wondering how my father was doing
Moments after I woke up

He's been dead nine years

I'm scared I'm losing it
So lonely
So lonely
So lonely

No one to talk to
Except professionals
With better things to do

Where are you, my love?
Where are you, my sweet?
I am utterly alone today

I feel like I'm not good enough for you
Not strong enough for you
Not enough of a man for you

I am terrified my life is over
Please help me
Someone

NFL Bounty Fallout: Now, I'm Mad

Today, Commish Goodall announced the repurcussions of the Saints bounty program. Suspension of HC Payton and the loss of money and draft picks. Give me a fucking break. They're gonna hamstring the Saints entire franchise for what was probably more of a joke than anything?

Remember, these bounties for big hits and picks were about a grand. On EVERY FUCKING PLAY, in the NFL, they're trying to hurt each other.

And you applaud the suspensions, America, as if it's righteous and just. Hypocrites and lemmings, you all are! Just because some suit decided this does not make it right!

Commish Goodall and the NFL are in the PR business. But if we were all honest about the bounties it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Take away a second and tell them that if it happens again, it's a first rounder.

Shit, man. The NFL IS ALL ABOUT VIOLENCE and anyone who agrees that the Saints should be destroyed for next season is an idiot lemming and hypocrite.

Blow Up Fenway Pahk

It sucks. The seats are too small and almost all angled wrong. The place was built a hundred years ago and should be blown up and replaced with a new ballpark.

Fuck the 100th anniversary. Just like Tom Yawkey, Fenway has done a lot more harm than good. Play somewhere else for two years while they tear down the whole fucking thing and start from scratch.

New Reality TV Show Idea: "The Biggest Winner"

"The Biggest Loser"? Yawn. Self involved fatties trying to lose 200 pounds? Been there. Done THAT!

"The Biggest Winner"? Yes, please!

A bunch of health nuts try to GAIN AS MANY POUNDS AS POSSIBLE IN 12 WEEKS! By eating! By cannibalism! By whatever means necessary!

Host? Alison Sweeney! Wait, wait.... Better yet.... Kelly Ripa, who spends each week with a disgusted look on her face!

Contestants?

Angelina, of course

Jillian Michaels! You're invited, sweetie, even though I know you'd turn it down on principle.

Alison Sweeney!

Julia Louis Dreyfus

Tina Fey!!! My second best friend WILL BE THERE!

Bill Rodgers, who always needed to put on a few pounds

Alberto Salazar. Ditto

Ben Johnson, who needs the money and the work

Carl Lewis, always up for a challenge

Rulon Gardner, going the other way on Alison

Is that enough? No? Well, how about the entire cast of "Gossip Girl" (except Blake: You're perfect, girl)

Facebook Isn't Dead

Wanna see some amazing pictures I took today on the coastline of New Hampshire? see here

Incredible day on the last day of winter 2012. Seventy degrees all over New England. Got chilly tonight, but hey, it's still winter. Glorious day!

The World Is A Shitty Place

All men are abusers because


All men are rapists of their own children

and

All men beat their wives

and

All men are closted gays

and

All men are prone to violence, unjustifiably

therefore

The world is a shitty place

(basically)

Stay, 'Dre, Stay

I can tell by looking at you, Andre Drummond, that you're a good kid and that you want to be great. Stay. One more year, maybe two. Why? Because history says you should. Because a million dollars today pails in comparison to the tens and tens of millions available to you if you become the next Shaquille O'Neal, which can potentially happen.

Look at the great centers and great center prospects in the last couple of decades:

Dwight Howard - straight to the NBA. You want his career and life? Not me. The kid is a mess and a bit of a cancer. Dude is so lame he let Lil' Nate dunk on him. IN THE DUNK CONTEST! Lame!

Tim Duncan - Now we're talking, This dude played four fucking years at Wake for a wonderful coach in Dave Odom. The model for all big men. You want his career? Say "Yes, Joe." And to think, people will be saying, "That Tim Duncan plays a lot like Anthony Davis does." (Davis = Potentially one of the ten greatest big men ever. No question about it)

Shaq - Now people your age don't remember this, but Shaqilicious played THREE years for the great Dale Brown down at LSU. Shaq going to class for three years and staying eligible? It really happened. And when he go to Orlando they played great right away.

Pat Ewing - Four years for Big John, three Monday nights, one win. One of the greatest college players ever. My man.

Hakeem Olajuwon - Three years for Guy Lewis at Houston. It paid off, right?

Ralph Sampson - If not for the bad knee structure, he and Hakeem might still be winning championships. He played four wonderful and memorable years at Virginia for Terry Holland.

Kareem, Bill Walton - Four years at UCLA. A long time ago, for sure, but the hardship rule (really, the Spencer Haywood Rule) has been in place since they played.

Learn from greatness, 'Dre.

You wanna be like Dwight, or the other guys I've listed? Hall of Famers and legends all.

Why

Why me?
Why hast thou forsaken me, god?
Why me?
This…..this is not enough
I want my woman, my new family
My just reward
Not 200 in the bank
Begging my mom for another two weeks worth

That is completely unjust
How do you and you and you live with yourselves?
I thought shrinks writing death scripts were bad
Well
You’re all leeches

He remembers, too

Jackie? I See No Jackie's

My first response: more tears at the Burke's loss. My second response? "Phuck you SI!"

We have come too far as a culture in the last year to pat ourselves on the back for this pile of shit. Where is my Jackie?

Jonathan Eig's fine portrait of Jackie's first season

Maybe all you fags deserve to hate and be hated, to commit crimes and have crimes committed on you. Maybe I've wasted all those tears on you and yours.

My father hated himself, largely, because he thought he was THE ONLY ONE.

You and you and you know that's not true, because of the work we've done together. Please don't stop here. We have come too far, and have too far to go, to stop.

My audience in small, SI. Yours is enormous. Don't stop now.

Dr. Drelay

Where the fuck is that pussy mutherfuker? What the fuck ever happened to that nigga? What a waste o' talent (talent? fuck yeah).

Loser.

Andrea Yates Spare Life Spared Ten Years Ago Today

per Portland Press Herald:

Today's Almanac

On This Date:

Ten Years Ago: A Houston jury spared Andrea Yates life after prosecutors stopped short of demanding the death penalty for the tormented mother who'd drowned her five children in her family's bathtub. (The 37 year old Yates was sentenced to life in prison; however, she was later acquitted by reason of insanity in a retrial.)

==================

I love you, Andrea. I know what it's like to live that kind of sad, desperate life. I know you. I love you. It's ok, baby. I love you.

Broncos Power Play

John Elway doesn’t think Tim Tebow can win a super bowl. I do.

I could be wrong, but I doubt it. Go for it, Timmy. Prove him wrong. There's lots of cities that want you. NE might be one.

NFL Bounties - Spare Me

The object of the game is to hurt the opponent. That's football. You think guys played harder and hit harder for a grand? Give me a fucking break, NFL "fans." You're all suckers.

They try to hurt each other every single fucking play, America. THAT'S THE GAME, assholes. That's why basketball is the better game: In football, they're trying to kill each other, sometimes literally.

Spare me, bleeding hearts. America's game is as violent an endeavor as humanity has seen since the Romans vs the Christians. Get over it. Or stop watching.

Back When They Made Kickers Cut Off Their Toes. Like Real Men.

This really happened forty one years ago

Won the game for the awful Saints. The Lions were rolling around on the field afterwards, in shock. It really happened. Tom Dempsey, the kicker for NO born with half a right foot, not much of a right hand, and a heart four sizes too big, really was a great football player.

Thanks, YouTube...

I Better

Now THIS is what I consider good writing, for me.

And I have not been doing anything close to that in months. I apologize for my lack of production. Writing is what I live for. Communicating, encouraging, poking and prodding. Making the world a better place in my own small way.

I have failed all winter to do that.

I promise to do better. And I will start by reading more.

Reading: The key to everything in this world.

Doo Diligence

Is Peyton even healthy? If he says he's healthy, does that mean he is? I mean, shit, the Petulant One is 44 isn't he? (He is. Thanks for the memories of the Pats mostly kicking your ass! Remember the big man from USC high stepping like a mutherfucker?)

I salute you. The best opponent we've had since Dr. J and Ken Dryden?

Yes, brother.

"Act of Valor" - The Movie, Not the Acting

Well maybe the acting, too

=============

what do you want to do with your life?

I said, what do you want to do with your life?

I said, What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?

I said, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?

Bench your weight? None of the guys in this movie can bench their weight.

Get laid by a thousand different girls or guys? None of the badasses in this movie sleep around, whether they're gay or straight.

Make a million dollars? None of the guys in this movie make a lot of money. To put it kindly.

Get your name in lights? None of the men and women in this movie do it for that.

Become famous? Ok, that one I'll give you. These guys and gals are famous in my household. Brit and I and the boys just love 'em. Just love 'em. I'm not one of them and never could have been (afraid of heights and a turrible athlete) but they know I'm a bit of a badass, too.

See "Act of Valour" before you graduate this spring and decide if that kind of life is for you.

If it is, good luck. If it's not, enjoy 9 to 5 life, suckers.

============

Thanks, boys. I cried my eyes out about a dozen times. I'm not one of you, but I know. I know. Thanks.

And yes, I would. For just about anyone.

2012 NBA Draft: John fucking Henson

This kid is playing like Joakim.

And that no joake.

"John's got dong."

I was wrong about Henson: When he was a frosh I said he couldn't play. He can play. In fact I think he's a star at the next level if he gets on the right team, like Noah.

Go for it, Carolina! (you guys trust ol' Roy yet?)

And My DVR Is A Mess, Too

So I record a show and watch it, and want to save it. I have to leave it in amongst all the recorded shows I haven't watched yet.

Why don't they have a section on my DVR for shows I've recorded, watched, and want to save.

As it is now, I don't know which "30 Rock"s and "Southland"s I've seen and which I haven't.

Old School Magazine Subscriptions: Why Such A Mess?

Why is it so hard to keep track of my printed magazine subscriptions?

I subscribe to a magazine, the printed version, and two weeks later they're sending me a letter asking me to resubscribe. So I throw it out. And every one after that. So my subscription eventually runs out.

Why is it so hard for magazines to just tell me when to subscribe? And try to go online and find out if you are still a subscriber, and if you are or aren't, what you can do to keep getting the magazine.

It's a complete shitshow. I get most of my news and fashion crap from magazines, and subscribing to them is a disaster.

POTUS Press Conference: Economic Sanctions on Iran, and Syria

Economic sanctions simply don't work.

Did they work with Saddam?

Have they worked with Cuba?

No and no.

Economic sanctions only hurt poor people and make the targeted government stronger.

Syria? We can't stop their genocide because of oil. Plain and simple.

Hey Meathead!!

(and to think Rob bitches that he still gets called that)

Today is Mr. Rob Reiner's 65th birthday. He is, after Steven, Mr. Hollywood. Thanks for all the memories!!

========

As Actor... (I'll only comment on the stuff that gives me a lump in the throat)

"Batman" - 1967 - Delivery Boy - Rob appeared on one of The Penguin episodes, which were always killer. A great campy series.

"The Andy Griffith Show" - 1967 - I haven't watched enough of the AGS to have too much of an opinion, but I'll be Andy made the set a fun and comfortable place to work for everybody.

"That Girl" - 1966-67 - Oh man, did I have a super crush on Marlo Thomas when I was a boy!

"Gomer Pyle, USMC" - 1967-69 - Our military hasn't changed much, I'm sure.

"The Beverly Hillbillies" - 1969 - One of the underrated series of the late 60s. This show always fascinated me when I watched the reruns. What a life that would be. Wait, that's us!

"The Partridge Family" - 1971 - Does anyone NOT love watching "The Partridge Family" reruns? Simply one of the sweetest series ever, because of Shirley and the incredible cast.

"The Odd Couple" - 1974 - I used to watch this show on reruns religiously. What a life: a divorced sportswriter in NYC? Yes, please!

"The Rockford Files" - 1976 - One of the coolest shows ever. My brother Edbay loved it. So did I.

"All In The Family" - 1971-78 - One of the greatest accomplishments in American cultural history. That's all I'll say about it.

"The Jerk" - 1979 - Still gets big laughs from me when they rerun it on cable. Weren't we all so innocent about a lot of stuff back then? Man, that was a long time ago.

==========

As director....

"This Is Spinal Tap" - 1984 - Is this the funniest movie ever made? It's at the table, if not at the very head of it. Still KILLS me after all these years. His second best accomplishment.

"Stand By Me" - 1986 - This movie gave Stephen King the cred to write whatever the fuck he wanted to. And that's turned out to be a very, very good thing.

"The Princess Bride" - 1987 - What can I say about Bill Goldman and this movie that hasn't been said? Special.

"When Harry Met Sally..." - 1989 - I've seen this movie maybe 25 times. Not in the last couple of years. But I did use the "I'll roll down the window next time..." bit on Brit a while back.

And it killed!

"Misery" - 1990 - Stephen King's best book (of the ones I've read) and a great, GREAT movie. Richly deserved Oscar for Kathy. And Jimmy was terrific, too.

"A Few Good Men" - 1992 - I think this flick is his most UNDERRATED. A very complicated story, when you really think about it. Was Jack's character a hero or a villain? I need to watch this great, GREAT movie again soon. I loved it and love it. Very interesting. And of course, there were some pretty good actors in this flick.

"The American President" - 1995 - I love this movie. Micheal was terrific and Annette was sexy and sweet as hell. Great stuff.

==============

What a resume. You're hired, kid....

To do whatever the fuck you wanna do with the next 20 years!

Now get to work, Meathead! We all love you very much.

Why My Cat Loves Me More When I Get Mad

Mammals are pack animals. They are happiest when there's an alpha male around to guide the pack. I'm an alpha male, and my kitty doesn't get mad at me when I throw a temper tantrum. Instead, she welcomes it because she knows she's safe with me in charge of the house.

******** Interpol Warning ************

Site will be terminated in 24 hours due to use of racial slurs.

Comps for Knicks vs C's

Lin - Kim Mulkey. And that's a compliment, chink boy. A big one. You aright.

Baron - Mike Bibby

Melo - Bob Dandrige (Alex English? = nope cuz AE has no rings. Melo already won something, right?) Bob D was and is one of the most underrated players in the history of the game. Big scorer on BAD teams every year for a decade? Melo wishes he was half as good as Bobby D.

Amare - Bob McAdoo

JR - a shorter Birdman, Totally wild out there, fun to watch. A bit of a pussy, too.

Tyson - Nate fucking Thurmond. Y'all know how I feel about the LA Stringbean. He's awesome.


Ray - I can't think of anyone like him in NBA history. Totally unique and wonderful. He's a winner and a total class act. Will his number be retired? Good question.

Brandon - Scott Wedman, who could ball for the us way back. Both could really score, but in different ways.

Avery - Don "Duck" Chaney. Duck was one hell of a player, Avery. One hell of a player. One of my favs when I was growing up. You stick to his type of game (defending and pushing the ball) and you can play for another ten years. Seriously.

Marquis - This is a bad muther and one of my favs. Bob Brannum. Yeah, Brannum.

Keyon - He's getting it. Danny. Seriously. I love how Keyon responds to coaching.

KG - Paul Silas. Think about it, guys. Silas thought the C's Mystique was crap, then found out it was real. And then what happened?

Jermaine - Bill Walton. And there isn't a bigger Walton fan than me, now that coach is dead.

Sasha Pietrus - WTF are they doing out there? They can't play!

PP - You're kidding, right? HONDO!

Rajon - Quinn Buckner x3. And I loved Quinn, but man, he couldn't shoot either. Bobby Knight's favorite player was a bad mutherfucker out there. A total fucking winner, just like my man Rajon. Quinn was part of two of the greatest college teams ever, won big in Beer Town and contributed to title winners here. A huge compliment. Where is Quinn, anyway?

Steimsma - Good body and feet but loves to shoot too much. Will never be the player he can be if he doesn't listen to Doc more and calm the fuck down out there. Relax, kid and let the game come to you. You're a shotblocker, the single most valuable skill there is. Just do that and you'll be alright. Shoot too much and your career will be over befor

Chris - Truck Robinson, who was 15 lbs too heavy, too. Rebound and post up and run the break, Chris and everything will be fine.

MaCaulee Wins State Title! No School Tomorrow, Kids!

McAuley High School – Maine State Champs 2012 – Girls A

Are they the best girl's team in Maine state history, and one of the best girl's teams in New England history?

Yes and yes.

======================

Where they are going to wind up, IMO

======================

Vicky Lux – Wins two more state titles. Grows to 6 3. Attends Notre Dame on scholarship (the best conditioned team in women’s basketball). Vicky gets in incredible shape, and has wonderful four year run in South Bend as sixth woman on a Final Four squad and contributing about 12 minutes a game to a team that wins 115 games overall. Graduates with a degree in Child Psychology, opens a practice of her own, and has a bunch of babies, a terrific loving marriage, and a very happy life.

Allie Clement – Wins two more state titles at McAllee. Becomes winningest female athlete in the history of Maine girls basketball. Not offered by Duke, attends NC State as a walk on (out of spite at Aunt Joannie). Up and down career until senior season, when NCState makes a run in the ACC Tourney. The Wolfpack are down 3 to the Dukies with 4.4 seconds left in the final. Allie takes a four pointer (NBA Commishioner Antoine Walker decrees new shot the year prior and it’s adapted by all leagues) and hits it! Celebration! In your face, Auntie! Allie goes on to become first female coach of the Los Angeles Clippers in 2028, replacing Coach Del Negro (8 time NBA champ Coach Del Negro to you, losers!). Has a wicked happy life to brag about at all family reunions. Joy! Joy! Joy!

Olivia Smith – Oliva plays on two more state title winners at MacAulee. Accepts offer from Boston College to play at the Heights. Decides to join the Andrea Jaeger Nunnery after sophomore year. Goes on to be the best damn nun ever!

Molly Mack – Senator and Mr. Mack will replace Senator Collins in 2020

Sadie DiPierro - The only starter not to play D1 basketball. While at Harvard, sophomore year, she starts a website for social networking, called iDrone. iDrone, financed by The TinaFeyCo, purchases military style drones to spy on unsuspecting private citizens and their utterly boring lives. Thus, iDrone!

Jackie Welch
Monia Mukiza
Lauren Coulombe
Ayla Tarte
Laura Holman
Morgan Wheeler
Mary Leasure

= The Seven Samurai - were great, great teammates, and they'll all be friends forever and ever.


Kate Liziewski – Becomes co-star of her own reality show, “18 Is Plenty!” with her husband. The show follows Kate, Lars and their brood of 16 kids through the trials and tribulations of home schooling 16 little kids. Kate takes to motherhood as naturally as any mother ever has, manages not to strangle any of the little shits, and teaches us all how to live and love and learn.

Alexa Coulombe – Attends Boston College. Named to All Big East freshman team….sorry, All ACC freshmen team. Leads moribound BC program to NCAA birth her sophomore season, and the Sweet 16 her senior season, where her Eagles are beaten by Coach Mulkey’s Baylor Lady Bears, who win their 200th game in a row in defeating Alexa’s squad. Alexa becomes all time leading scorer at BC, and gets drafted by LA Sparks. Moves to LA following graduation, in 2017. Babysits Broe’s kids some nights, when she’s not kicking ass in the WNBA. Goes on "The View" to promote women's basketball and E Hasselbeck asks for HER autograph! Marries Ryan Gosling, who gets tired of those needy, self centered, pampered Hollywood celebrity types and goes out with a real woman, an athlete and wonderful person, falling for her the first time they go to a Lakers game together.

And they all lived happily.

Good Luck, Lindsay

I won't watch until tomorrow am, but good luck tonight. I think pressure is thinking that people want me/you/anyone to fail. That's pressure. But we all want you to kill it tonight, so go to it, kiddo.

Love,
Joe

Sexy at 100: The Couples

1) Michael Douglas (67) and Catherine Zeta Jones (42)

2) MJ Fox (50) and Tracy Pollan (51)

3) Kevin Kline (64) and Pheobe Cates (48)

4) Glenn Close (64) and Mr. David Shaw (61)

5) Meryl (62) and Don Gummar (65) (Gummeey? Gummeay? What is THAT GUYS's NAME!)

6) Helen (66!) and Taylor Hackford (67!)

7) Joannie McCallie (45) and her hubby, John McCallie (age better be 55 or more) - The head coach at Duke is smokin' hot. Daughter of a Navy pilot? D1 basketball at NORTHWESTERN? Led the girls up in Orono to the promised land? Led MState and Duke to greatness? You better believe Joannie is smokin' hot!

8) Bruce (62) and Patti (a scorching hot 58. yes, indeedy)

9) Mr. and Mrs. Rand - ages unknown due to foreign births

10) Steven Speilberg (65) and the lovely Kate Kapshaw (58)

================

Juuuuuuuust missed it:

Broe: 2025

Elizabeth Shue and David Guggenheim = 2014 (if they make it!)

Clooney and Stacy = 2021 (not a fucking chance...she's my backup plan if Broe doesn't work out! She or Reese. Or I'lll steal Katie away from that old guy.)

Tina Fey (41) and Jeff Richmond (51) - 2017 - That's if Richmond doesn't pull a Brian Cash-man!

================

Just so you y'all know: It's a lot of fun to write this stuff up. Make your own list, kids. It's awesome to be creative. I have $600 in my checking account and feel really good. It's not money that matters, it's peace/piece of mind. Go see Project X today and have a great time. Me? I'm going to see the MacAleey vs Coney!

Oh Why? Why? Why? - Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Bruins into the stands after the game Sunday as MSG, 1230 start?

(You grab my stick, mutherfucker and I'm all in, too.)

Celtics kicking the living shit out of Chink boy (another Harvvaard pussy come to town) at the REAL Gahden at 1pm?

Yes, please. Thas why I've got 2 tvs.

(Had 3. Something happened to it the other day. Couldn't find my glasses and tripped over it. I think. Whateva.)

Placeholder President

What will they say about you in 10 years?

Your own aircraft carrier, maybe an airport in Chi-town?

That's about all, my man

That's about all

=============

What will they say about us?

That Joe and Brit changed the world

They changed the world:

There is no button

Big Pharma is strangling this country

There are no straight men, almost

Lots of other good stuff

and

still...

It's all Chris Ford's fault

===============

We are changing the world, she and me

===============

You're stacking your pickup teams with Dukies and Harvard men

While I toil up here in the hinterland

Abused

Tortured

Loved

The Ballad Of Mike Milbury

AP - 3/1/12 851pm

Former Bruins enforcer and All Star defenseman Mike Milbury has been arrested for getting into an altercation with a 12 year old boy, an opponent of Milbury's son's pee wee team, during a between periods incident Thursday night at Hockeytown in Revere. The boy, a Kenneth Drydenne of Malden, Mass, fought Milbury to a draw but decided to press charges anyway after hearing about all the NHL money Mr. Milbury had hidden away. A lawsuit is pending.

Milbury's son, Bobby M. Milbury, apparently was checked wicked hadddd into the boards by young Mr. Drydenne during the first period, and his Dad, Bruins legendary brawler Mike, got into it with the kid between periods of the game on Thursday night.

Overheard during the altercation:

Mike Milbury:"I don't like you or your shoe, you little shit, and this is what I'm going to do about it!"

Drydenne: "Mr. Milbury...Rick DiPietro for $100 million dollars? Really?

Milbury: "Yeah, you crappy French punk ass little twerp, I'm gonna make you wish you were never born!"

Drydenne" "Mr. Milbury, I'm shocked the Bruins haven't retired your number. Maybe something like the Celtics did with Jim Luscotoff? Maybe, "Mike 'The Shoe' " or something classy like that? Don't you think that would be nice? No?"

Because B Wants Me To "Just B Joe", or was it "JBJoe"?

reading the NBA Box scores from 2/29/12 – Once every four years….

John Wall – in a loss to a good Orlando team (they’re baccccck), Wall had 33 pts, only 4 assists, and 1 fucking TO. Building block? Building block. The only other assets on that team are McGee and maybe Crawford. Wouldn’t surprise me in the least to see an entire new team next season, save for Wall and Crawford and McGee. Better update your resumes, boys. And learn to speak Mandarin.

The Warriors are about to blow up their shitty roster, I can feel it. Big move, why not? WTF? Lee is staying, almost certainly, with his K, but Ellis is a big time player who can contribute on a championship team. What a microwave he’d make for someone good. Oh my, he’d make a good microwave. Klay and Steph are keepers, certainly. But no one is off limits. Blow it up, Larry Riley. You got GREAT FANS who want a winner, and I want a winner in GS so I can say “Roary!” when I visit next season! (“Inside Moves” reference – 1st of the day – one of the great and underrated movies ever made, as I’ve said before)

We’re looking at seven wins in a row, my compadres: C’s toast Bucks – KG played GREAT, he ate up the Bucks big men, sure sure Gooden got his 20 and 8, and DID NOTHING, KG was immense last night! – I’m telling ya: extra passes are THE KEY TO BASKETBALL. You hit a guy in the face with the ball on the break in the first quarter he runs even harder the rest of the night, mutherfuckers! Believe it!
Great effort by the Cs. Avery is even getting it: PUSH PUSH PUSH. Brandon has been Brandon all year long – the unsung hero, (I’m surprised at how good a scorer he is)

Bucks roster –
Shaun –LIFT you pussy, your career is almost over
Brandon – don’t change a fucking thing kid, you’re awesome!
Mike – love your game, gotta get on a good team and get that ring!
Larry Sanders – oozed talent
A nice roster, not bad at all

Charlotte – do they have their first rounder? If they do, look the fuck out, they have talent on that team!
Kemba, Gerald, and DJ in the backcourt
With the rook Biyombo up front, four building blocks, plus a top five pick? Yes, please, just be patient, Charlotte and look to Ok City! No, I’m not shitting you! Think of your assets and think about two years from now: The future is bright in Charlotte!

Knicks: How good are they? Really good. The question coming into the season was pg play. Baron Davis isn’t the answer, though for 15/20 m a night not too many teams have a better backup. (Name one? I can’t) Lin has changed the balance of power in the East division. You put up a line like he did last night of 33m, 6 2s, 7-9 from the line, 13 assists, and 1 to and you’re a player! Lin seems to be for real. He was way too good for Harvard and that school’s legacy as a non basketball school held him back for his first couple of years. But the dude is for real and so are the Knickerbockers. Damn straight. It’s great to see for the good of the game. We’ll see y'all Sunday at 1pm.

Toronto and New Orleans – how did these once promising teams get so fucked up? They both have no assets.

Carlos Boozer - =/- for the night = -5. He was on the court for 23 minutes and got 8 and 8, and did absolutely nothing good. Just kills the Bulls. Every time he’s on the court they get worse.

Joakim is one of the best basketball players in the world, and no one but ballers knows it. He is incredible. Like Shaq said about free throws goes double for Joakim and his j. What a player.

And Asik is terrific, too. Just a terrific defender and everything else. And he might still be growing. He’s huge.

When I saw DeJuan Blair flip that big kid from UConn over his back like he was taking off a sweater his junior season at Pitt, I said a) he’s strong! B) he ain’t no NBA player. 1 out of 2 ain’t bad. What an incredible pick by Gregg Pop. Incredible pick. They got a terrific player in the second round. Fuck you, SA. You know why, doncha?

Matt Bonner’s time in the NBA is almost up. What a run, though. What a run. We'll see you at the Concord Y, I hope, Matt. And your sister, too? Pretty please?

How the hell is Houston 21-15? I see nothing on their roster. Smart guys run that team, almost too smart. Gotta lose big at some point in the NBA to replenish.

The Wolves next year? 50 game winners. Book it.

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I got one last thing to say....

HOW THE FUCK CAN THE SEASON BE ALMOST OVER WHEN I JUST WOKE THE FUCK UP?