McAuley High School – Maine State Champs 2012 – Girls A
Are they the best girl's team in Maine state history, and one of the best girl's teams in New England history?
Yes and yes.
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Where they are going to wind up, IMO
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Vicky Lux – Wins two more state titles. Grows to 6 3. Attends Notre Dame on scholarship (the best conditioned team in women’s basketball). Vicky gets in incredible shape, and has wonderful four year run in South Bend as sixth woman on a Final Four squad and contributing about 12 minutes a game to a team that wins 115 games overall. Graduates with a degree in Child Psychology, opens a practice of her own, and has a bunch of babies, a terrific loving marriage, and a very happy life.
Allie Clement – Wins two more state titles at McAllee. Becomes winningest female athlete in the history of Maine girls basketball. Not offered by Duke, attends NC State as a walk on (out of spite at Aunt Joannie). Up and down career until senior season, when NCState makes a run in the ACC Tourney. The Wolfpack are down 3 to the Dukies with 4.4 seconds left in the final. Allie takes a four pointer (NBA Commishioner Antoine Walker decrees new shot the year prior and it’s adapted by all leagues) and hits it! Celebration! In your face, Auntie! Allie goes on to become first female coach of the Los Angeles Clippers in 2028, replacing Coach Del Negro (8 time NBA champ Coach Del Negro to you, losers!). Has a wicked happy life to brag about at all family reunions. Joy! Joy! Joy!
Olivia Smith – Oliva plays on two more state title winners at MacAulee. Accepts offer from Boston College to play at the Heights. Decides to join the Andrea Jaeger Nunnery after sophomore year. Goes on to be the best damn nun ever!
Molly Mack – Senator and Mr. Mack will replace Senator Collins in 2020
Sadie DiPierro - The only starter not to play D1 basketball. While at Harvard, sophomore year, she starts a website for social networking, called iDrone. iDrone, financed by The TinaFeyCo, purchases military style drones to spy on unsuspecting private citizens and their utterly boring lives. Thus, iDrone!
Jackie Welch
Monia Mukiza
Lauren Coulombe
Ayla Tarte
Laura Holman
Morgan Wheeler
Mary Leasure
= The Seven Samurai - were great, great teammates, and they'll all be friends forever and ever.
Kate Liziewski – Becomes co-star of her own reality show, “18 Is Plenty!” with her husband. The show follows Kate, Lars and their brood of 16 kids through the trials and tribulations of home schooling 16 little kids. Kate takes to motherhood as naturally as any mother ever has, manages not to strangle any of the little shits, and teaches us all how to live and love and learn.
Alexa Coulombe – Attends Boston College. Named to All Big East freshman team….sorry, All ACC freshmen team. Leads moribound BC program to NCAA birth her sophomore season, and the Sweet 16 her senior season, where her Eagles are beaten by Coach Mulkey’s Baylor Lady Bears, who win their 200th game in a row in defeating Alexa’s squad. Alexa becomes all time leading scorer at BC, and gets drafted by LA Sparks. Moves to LA following graduation, in 2017. Babysits Broe’s kids some nights, when she’s not kicking ass in the WNBA. Goes on "The View" to promote women's basketball and E Hasselbeck asks for HER autograph! Marries Ryan Gosling, who gets tired of those needy, self centered, pampered Hollywood celebrity types and goes out with a real woman, an athlete and wonderful person, falling for her the first time they go to a Lakers game together.
And they all lived happily.
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