"The Biggest Loser"? Yawn. Self involved fatties trying to lose 200 pounds? Been there. Done THAT!
"The Biggest Winner"? Yes, please!
A bunch of health nuts try to GAIN AS MANY POUNDS AS POSSIBLE IN 12 WEEKS! By eating! By cannibalism! By whatever means necessary!
Host? Alison Sweeney! Wait, wait.... Better yet.... Kelly Ripa, who spends each week with a disgusted look on her face!
Contestants?
Angelina, of course
Jillian Michaels! You're invited, sweetie, even though I know you'd turn it down on principle.
Alison Sweeney!
Julia Louis Dreyfus
Tina Fey!!! My second best friend WILL BE THERE!
Bill Rodgers, who always needed to put on a few pounds
Alberto Salazar. Ditto
Ben Johnson, who needs the money and the work
Carl Lewis, always up for a challenge
Rulon Gardner, going the other way on Alison
Is that enough? No? Well, how about the entire cast of "Gossip Girl" (except Blake: You're perfect, girl)
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