Ritalin

My pdoc has given me 10 mg of ritalin in the am to energize me.  It does, but only for about 5 hours.  By 2 o'clock or so I'm back in the same hole of depression that I wake up in.  Is this a good thing to get 5 hours of normalcy then back to feeling terrible?  I guess so.  I'll take all the "feeling good" I can get.  It would be nice just to get one day of feeling ok.

PS  I tried the extended release ritalin 20mg and couldn't sleep at all.  Felt pretty shaky during the day, too, with crying fits often.

I guess I/we will keep working to get this right.  I'm too young to give up and too determined to turn my life around.

My Head

This is what normal feels like.  It's nice.  I've missed it (for about six months).  When it takes all the courage in my body to simply take a shower, I know things are bad.  Things are getting better.

Not A Loner

I am not a loner.  I am a people person with no people in my life.  It's heartbreaking to slog day after day alone and lonely, but I do.  What  choice do I have, really?

Depression

Depression is a disease just like diabetes or cancer.  We know of no cure or even an effective treatment.   I deal with my depression the best I can and try to work up to doing SOMETHING every day constructive.  It's tough, though.  If you have a loved one of relative who suffers from depression, blaming them or yelling at them will not help.  I don't choose to do the things I do that society looks at askew.  I do them because I have an illness.

Brit and X Factor

I hope my girl is super super careful when she appears on this show.  I know what happened to Paula Abdul on American Idol and don't want the same thing to happen to my Brit.  She deserves the best and I'm not sure that Simon Cowell is going to give it to her.  Be careful, B.

Even More Writing About My Depression

I just got out of the mental hospital
I've been in three times in the last four months
All because I am seriously mentally ill
Depressed and moody
Up and down, up and down

I come home and my apartment doesn't look that bad, to be honest
Why was it such a house of horrors before?
I need a space to write and to build and to think
This will do for now

Some More Writing About My Depression

The only phone calls I get are the 30 or so a day from the three credit card companies I owe money to

I have no one on Earth to talk to

I talk to my muse, Brit, because there is no one else

She doesn't talk back

I feel I am going to break

In this entire planet of painfulness

There is not a soul for me to talk to honestly

This is a form of death

"The Hunger Games" - A Hateful Movie

Made it through about an hour or so of this piece of crap.

KIds killing kids? This is what we're making movies about? Man, the depravity, the sickness, the shallowness, and the love of violence.

I can't blame any of the actors indiviually for working on this movie, but collectively, if this is the marketplace and if this is what passes for a big budget movie blockbuster, then I'll pass and watch smaller fare such as "Wanderlust" and "Act of Valor."

Children killing children should never be prime time entertainment for America. I weep for our nation. And this movie made a ton of money its first week, so there is a big market for it.

I guess I'm the only one left looking for a good time at the movies and not some sort of bloodlust.

More Writing About My Depression

Honey, am I an artist?

Was Van Gogh a "painter", even though he never sold any of his work?
By that, I mean did he tell people he was painting as a means of living, or working?

I believe I am an unrecognized artist
No money has found its way to my pocket
No Genius Grants have been given to me to pay my bills
I will likely have to move in with my mother in about six months, when my Dad's life insurance money runs out
But still
But still
I am a writer and an artist

I told my new therapist on Wednesday how I talk to your pictures much of the day
And believe me, she thought that was mighty strange
She doesn't know who or what's going on in the world
I suppose she has never seen "Enemy of the State", a great Will Smith movie from 14 years ago
That describes my situation perfectly
(Can you imagine the new technology that's come out since then?)
But still
But still
I am a writer and an artist

If I work and work and work
Something memorable will come
I believe

Writing About My Depression

Showering every three days
If then
Vegatative state most of the time
In bed or on the couch
Eyes closed, thinking thinking thinking
About why I can't move
Please get up and do something, Joe
I can't I can't I can't
I don't have the energy
I don't have any energy
Knowing what to do
And I'm not able
The pain in my head
From being such a slug
I would not wish on anyone
Especially myself

How do you take a shower when you're depressed?
I don't know
How do you get up and do something
When your schedule is empty all day
And no one seems to care if you lie there for the next 26 hours
My phone never rings
Except for three credit card companies looking for money
That I owe them

My pain is awesome
Is huge
Is riveting and strange
Is too much for anyone to understand
Or relate to

Today I move (not wake, but move) at 1pm
Maria is playing tennis on tv
Does she ever have a bad day, a day like I have most of the time?
Her drive, her will of steel is too much for bum and a loser like me to grasp
But I'll bet I seem strange to her, too
"Why don't you get up and get on with your life, Joe?"
Why don't I?
I don't know, Maria
It's all so painful and swollen and sick
In my head

I take a shower
I do
And feel better to be a little cleaner
Now what? I have nothing to do all day
Unemployable unfriendable unknowable hateable
Disagreeable angry no....on edge would be a better way to put it
On edge
Not suicidal
Just in pain

Old Man Take A Look At Myself

I am scared, my love
I am thinking I may be losing it
Swiftly
Was wondering how my father was doing
Moments after I woke up

He's been dead nine years

I'm scared I'm losing it
So lonely
So lonely
So lonely

No one to talk to
Except professionals
With better things to do

Where are you, my love?
Where are you, my sweet?
I am utterly alone today

I feel like I'm not good enough for you
Not strong enough for you
Not enough of a man for you

I am terrified my life is over
Please help me
Someone

NFL Bounty Fallout: Now, I'm Mad

Today, Commish Goodall announced the repurcussions of the Saints bounty program. Suspension of HC Payton and the loss of money and draft picks. Give me a fucking break. They're gonna hamstring the Saints entire franchise for what was probably more of a joke than anything?

Remember, these bounties for big hits and picks were about a grand. On EVERY FUCKING PLAY, in the NFL, they're trying to hurt each other.

And you applaud the suspensions, America, as if it's righteous and just. Hypocrites and lemmings, you all are! Just because some suit decided this does not make it right!

Commish Goodall and the NFL are in the PR business. But if we were all honest about the bounties it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Take away a second and tell them that if it happens again, it's a first rounder.

Shit, man. The NFL IS ALL ABOUT VIOLENCE and anyone who agrees that the Saints should be destroyed for next season is an idiot lemming and hypocrite.

Blow Up Fenway Pahk

It sucks. The seats are too small and almost all angled wrong. The place was built a hundred years ago and should be blown up and replaced with a new ballpark.

Fuck the 100th anniversary. Just like Tom Yawkey, Fenway has done a lot more harm than good. Play somewhere else for two years while they tear down the whole fucking thing and start from scratch.

New Reality TV Show Idea: "The Biggest Winner"

"The Biggest Loser"? Yawn. Self involved fatties trying to lose 200 pounds? Been there. Done THAT!

"The Biggest Winner"? Yes, please!

A bunch of health nuts try to GAIN AS MANY POUNDS AS POSSIBLE IN 12 WEEKS! By eating! By cannibalism! By whatever means necessary!

Host? Alison Sweeney! Wait, wait.... Better yet.... Kelly Ripa, who spends each week with a disgusted look on her face!

Contestants?

Angelina, of course

Jillian Michaels! You're invited, sweetie, even though I know you'd turn it down on principle.

Alison Sweeney!

Julia Louis Dreyfus

Tina Fey!!! My second best friend WILL BE THERE!

Bill Rodgers, who always needed to put on a few pounds

Alberto Salazar. Ditto

Ben Johnson, who needs the money and the work

Carl Lewis, always up for a challenge

Rulon Gardner, going the other way on Alison

Is that enough? No? Well, how about the entire cast of "Gossip Girl" (except Blake: You're perfect, girl)

Facebook Isn't Dead

Wanna see some amazing pictures I took today on the coastline of New Hampshire? see here

Incredible day on the last day of winter 2012. Seventy degrees all over New England. Got chilly tonight, but hey, it's still winter. Glorious day!

The World Is A Shitty Place

All men are abusers because


All men are rapists of their own children

and

All men beat their wives

and

All men are closted gays

and

All men are prone to violence, unjustifiably

therefore

The world is a shitty place

(basically)

Stay, 'Dre, Stay

I can tell by looking at you, Andre Drummond, that you're a good kid and that you want to be great. Stay. One more year, maybe two. Why? Because history says you should. Because a million dollars today pails in comparison to the tens and tens of millions available to you if you become the next Shaquille O'Neal, which can potentially happen.

Look at the great centers and great center prospects in the last couple of decades:

Dwight Howard - straight to the NBA. You want his career and life? Not me. The kid is a mess and a bit of a cancer. Dude is so lame he let Lil' Nate dunk on him. IN THE DUNK CONTEST! Lame!

Tim Duncan - Now we're talking, This dude played four fucking years at Wake for a wonderful coach in Dave Odom. The model for all big men. You want his career? Say "Yes, Joe." And to think, people will be saying, "That Tim Duncan plays a lot like Anthony Davis does." (Davis = Potentially one of the ten greatest big men ever. No question about it)

Shaq - Now people your age don't remember this, but Shaqilicious played THREE years for the great Dale Brown down at LSU. Shaq going to class for three years and staying eligible? It really happened. And when he go to Orlando they played great right away.

Pat Ewing - Four years for Big John, three Monday nights, one win. One of the greatest college players ever. My man.

Hakeem Olajuwon - Three years for Guy Lewis at Houston. It paid off, right?

Ralph Sampson - If not for the bad knee structure, he and Hakeem might still be winning championships. He played four wonderful and memorable years at Virginia for Terry Holland.

Kareem, Bill Walton - Four years at UCLA. A long time ago, for sure, but the hardship rule (really, the Spencer Haywood Rule) has been in place since they played.

Learn from greatness, 'Dre.

You wanna be like Dwight, or the other guys I've listed? Hall of Famers and legends all.

Why

Why me?
Why hast thou forsaken me, god?
Why me?
This…..this is not enough
I want my woman, my new family
My just reward
Not 200 in the bank
Begging my mom for another two weeks worth

That is completely unjust
How do you and you and you live with yourselves?
I thought shrinks writing death scripts were bad
Well
You’re all leeches

He remembers, too

Jackie? I See No Jackie's

My first response: more tears at the Burke's loss. My second response? "Phuck you SI!"

We have come too far as a culture in the last year to pat ourselves on the back for this pile of shit. Where is my Jackie?

Jonathan Eig's fine portrait of Jackie's first season

Maybe all you fags deserve to hate and be hated, to commit crimes and have crimes committed on you. Maybe I've wasted all those tears on you and yours.

My father hated himself, largely, because he thought he was THE ONLY ONE.

You and you and you know that's not true, because of the work we've done together. Please don't stop here. We have come too far, and have too far to go, to stop.

My audience in small, SI. Yours is enormous. Don't stop now.

Dr. Drelay

Where the fuck is that pussy mutherfuker? What the fuck ever happened to that nigga? What a waste o' talent (talent? fuck yeah).

Loser.

Andrea Yates Spare Life Spared Ten Years Ago Today

per Portland Press Herald:

Today's Almanac

On This Date:

Ten Years Ago: A Houston jury spared Andrea Yates life after prosecutors stopped short of demanding the death penalty for the tormented mother who'd drowned her five children in her family's bathtub. (The 37 year old Yates was sentenced to life in prison; however, she was later acquitted by reason of insanity in a retrial.)

==================

I love you, Andrea. I know what it's like to live that kind of sad, desperate life. I know you. I love you. It's ok, baby. I love you.

Broncos Power Play

John Elway doesn’t think Tim Tebow can win a super bowl. I do.

I could be wrong, but I doubt it. Go for it, Timmy. Prove him wrong. There's lots of cities that want you. NE might be one.

NFL Bounties - Spare Me

The object of the game is to hurt the opponent. That's football. You think guys played harder and hit harder for a grand? Give me a fucking break, NFL "fans." You're all suckers.

They try to hurt each other every single fucking play, America. THAT'S THE GAME, assholes. That's why basketball is the better game: In football, they're trying to kill each other, sometimes literally.

Spare me, bleeding hearts. America's game is as violent an endeavor as humanity has seen since the Romans vs the Christians. Get over it. Or stop watching.

Back When They Made Kickers Cut Off Their Toes. Like Real Men.

This really happened forty one years ago

Won the game for the awful Saints. The Lions were rolling around on the field afterwards, in shock. It really happened. Tom Dempsey, the kicker for NO born with half a right foot, not much of a right hand, and a heart four sizes too big, really was a great football player.

Thanks, YouTube...

I Better

Now THIS is what I consider good writing, for me.

And I have not been doing anything close to that in months. I apologize for my lack of production. Writing is what I live for. Communicating, encouraging, poking and prodding. Making the world a better place in my own small way.

I have failed all winter to do that.

I promise to do better. And I will start by reading more.

Reading: The key to everything in this world.

Doo Diligence

Is Peyton even healthy? If he says he's healthy, does that mean he is? I mean, shit, the Petulant One is 44 isn't he? (He is. Thanks for the memories of the Pats mostly kicking your ass! Remember the big man from USC high stepping like a mutherfucker?)

I salute you. The best opponent we've had since Dr. J and Ken Dryden?

Yes, brother.

"Act of Valor" - The Movie, Not the Acting

Well maybe the acting, too

=============

what do you want to do with your life?

I said, what do you want to do with your life?

I said, What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?

I said, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?

Bench your weight? None of the guys in this movie can bench their weight.

Get laid by a thousand different girls or guys? None of the badasses in this movie sleep around, whether they're gay or straight.

Make a million dollars? None of the guys in this movie make a lot of money. To put it kindly.

Get your name in lights? None of the men and women in this movie do it for that.

Become famous? Ok, that one I'll give you. These guys and gals are famous in my household. Brit and I and the boys just love 'em. Just love 'em. I'm not one of them and never could have been (afraid of heights and a turrible athlete) but they know I'm a bit of a badass, too.

See "Act of Valour" before you graduate this spring and decide if that kind of life is for you.

If it is, good luck. If it's not, enjoy 9 to 5 life, suckers.

============

Thanks, boys. I cried my eyes out about a dozen times. I'm not one of you, but I know. I know. Thanks.

And yes, I would. For just about anyone.

2012 NBA Draft: John fucking Henson

This kid is playing like Joakim.

And that no joake.

"John's got dong."

I was wrong about Henson: When he was a frosh I said he couldn't play. He can play. In fact I think he's a star at the next level if he gets on the right team, like Noah.

Go for it, Carolina! (you guys trust ol' Roy yet?)

And My DVR Is A Mess, Too

So I record a show and watch it, and want to save it. I have to leave it in amongst all the recorded shows I haven't watched yet.

Why don't they have a section on my DVR for shows I've recorded, watched, and want to save.

As it is now, I don't know which "30 Rock"s and "Southland"s I've seen and which I haven't.

Old School Magazine Subscriptions: Why Such A Mess?

Why is it so hard to keep track of my printed magazine subscriptions?

I subscribe to a magazine, the printed version, and two weeks later they're sending me a letter asking me to resubscribe. So I throw it out. And every one after that. So my subscription eventually runs out.

Why is it so hard for magazines to just tell me when to subscribe? And try to go online and find out if you are still a subscriber, and if you are or aren't, what you can do to keep getting the magazine.

It's a complete shitshow. I get most of my news and fashion crap from magazines, and subscribing to them is a disaster.

POTUS Press Conference: Economic Sanctions on Iran, and Syria

Economic sanctions simply don't work.

Did they work with Saddam?

Have they worked with Cuba?

No and no.

Economic sanctions only hurt poor people and make the targeted government stronger.

Syria? We can't stop their genocide because of oil. Plain and simple.

Hey Meathead!!

(and to think Rob bitches that he still gets called that)

Today is Mr. Rob Reiner's 65th birthday. He is, after Steven, Mr. Hollywood. Thanks for all the memories!!

========

As Actor... (I'll only comment on the stuff that gives me a lump in the throat)

"Batman" - 1967 - Delivery Boy - Rob appeared on one of The Penguin episodes, which were always killer. A great campy series.

"The Andy Griffith Show" - 1967 - I haven't watched enough of the AGS to have too much of an opinion, but I'll be Andy made the set a fun and comfortable place to work for everybody.

"That Girl" - 1966-67 - Oh man, did I have a super crush on Marlo Thomas when I was a boy!

"Gomer Pyle, USMC" - 1967-69 - Our military hasn't changed much, I'm sure.

"The Beverly Hillbillies" - 1969 - One of the underrated series of the late 60s. This show always fascinated me when I watched the reruns. What a life that would be. Wait, that's us!

"The Partridge Family" - 1971 - Does anyone NOT love watching "The Partridge Family" reruns? Simply one of the sweetest series ever, because of Shirley and the incredible cast.

"The Odd Couple" - 1974 - I used to watch this show on reruns religiously. What a life: a divorced sportswriter in NYC? Yes, please!

"The Rockford Files" - 1976 - One of the coolest shows ever. My brother Edbay loved it. So did I.

"All In The Family" - 1971-78 - One of the greatest accomplishments in American cultural history. That's all I'll say about it.

"The Jerk" - 1979 - Still gets big laughs from me when they rerun it on cable. Weren't we all so innocent about a lot of stuff back then? Man, that was a long time ago.

==========

As director....

"This Is Spinal Tap" - 1984 - Is this the funniest movie ever made? It's at the table, if not at the very head of it. Still KILLS me after all these years. His second best accomplishment.

"Stand By Me" - 1986 - This movie gave Stephen King the cred to write whatever the fuck he wanted to. And that's turned out to be a very, very good thing.

"The Princess Bride" - 1987 - What can I say about Bill Goldman and this movie that hasn't been said? Special.

"When Harry Met Sally..." - 1989 - I've seen this movie maybe 25 times. Not in the last couple of years. But I did use the "I'll roll down the window next time..." bit on Brit a while back.

And it killed!

"Misery" - 1990 - Stephen King's best book (of the ones I've read) and a great, GREAT movie. Richly deserved Oscar for Kathy. And Jimmy was terrific, too.

"A Few Good Men" - 1992 - I think this flick is his most UNDERRATED. A very complicated story, when you really think about it. Was Jack's character a hero or a villain? I need to watch this great, GREAT movie again soon. I loved it and love it. Very interesting. And of course, there were some pretty good actors in this flick.

"The American President" - 1995 - I love this movie. Micheal was terrific and Annette was sexy and sweet as hell. Great stuff.

==============

What a resume. You're hired, kid....

To do whatever the fuck you wanna do with the next 20 years!

Now get to work, Meathead! We all love you very much.

Why My Cat Loves Me More When I Get Mad

Mammals are pack animals. They are happiest when there's an alpha male around to guide the pack. I'm an alpha male, and my kitty doesn't get mad at me when I throw a temper tantrum. Instead, she welcomes it because she knows she's safe with me in charge of the house.

******** Interpol Warning ************

Site will be terminated in 24 hours due to use of racial slurs.

Comps for Knicks vs C's

Lin - Kim Mulkey. And that's a compliment, chink boy. A big one. You aright.

Baron - Mike Bibby

Melo - Bob Dandrige (Alex English? = nope cuz AE has no rings. Melo already won something, right?) Bob D was and is one of the most underrated players in the history of the game. Big scorer on BAD teams every year for a decade? Melo wishes he was half as good as Bobby D.

Amare - Bob McAdoo

JR - a shorter Birdman, Totally wild out there, fun to watch. A bit of a pussy, too.

Tyson - Nate fucking Thurmond. Y'all know how I feel about the LA Stringbean. He's awesome.


Ray - I can't think of anyone like him in NBA history. Totally unique and wonderful. He's a winner and a total class act. Will his number be retired? Good question.

Brandon - Scott Wedman, who could ball for the us way back. Both could really score, but in different ways.

Avery - Don "Duck" Chaney. Duck was one hell of a player, Avery. One hell of a player. One of my favs when I was growing up. You stick to his type of game (defending and pushing the ball) and you can play for another ten years. Seriously.

Marquis - This is a bad muther and one of my favs. Bob Brannum. Yeah, Brannum.

Keyon - He's getting it. Danny. Seriously. I love how Keyon responds to coaching.

KG - Paul Silas. Think about it, guys. Silas thought the C's Mystique was crap, then found out it was real. And then what happened?

Jermaine - Bill Walton. And there isn't a bigger Walton fan than me, now that coach is dead.

Sasha Pietrus - WTF are they doing out there? They can't play!

PP - You're kidding, right? HONDO!

Rajon - Quinn Buckner x3. And I loved Quinn, but man, he couldn't shoot either. Bobby Knight's favorite player was a bad mutherfucker out there. A total fucking winner, just like my man Rajon. Quinn was part of two of the greatest college teams ever, won big in Beer Town and contributed to title winners here. A huge compliment. Where is Quinn, anyway?

Steimsma - Good body and feet but loves to shoot too much. Will never be the player he can be if he doesn't listen to Doc more and calm the fuck down out there. Relax, kid and let the game come to you. You're a shotblocker, the single most valuable skill there is. Just do that and you'll be alright. Shoot too much and your career will be over befor

Chris - Truck Robinson, who was 15 lbs too heavy, too. Rebound and post up and run the break, Chris and everything will be fine.

MaCaulee Wins State Title! No School Tomorrow, Kids!

McAuley High School – Maine State Champs 2012 – Girls A

Are they the best girl's team in Maine state history, and one of the best girl's teams in New England history?

Yes and yes.

======================

Where they are going to wind up, IMO

======================

Vicky Lux – Wins two more state titles. Grows to 6 3. Attends Notre Dame on scholarship (the best conditioned team in women’s basketball). Vicky gets in incredible shape, and has wonderful four year run in South Bend as sixth woman on a Final Four squad and contributing about 12 minutes a game to a team that wins 115 games overall. Graduates with a degree in Child Psychology, opens a practice of her own, and has a bunch of babies, a terrific loving marriage, and a very happy life.

Allie Clement – Wins two more state titles at McAllee. Becomes winningest female athlete in the history of Maine girls basketball. Not offered by Duke, attends NC State as a walk on (out of spite at Aunt Joannie). Up and down career until senior season, when NCState makes a run in the ACC Tourney. The Wolfpack are down 3 to the Dukies with 4.4 seconds left in the final. Allie takes a four pointer (NBA Commishioner Antoine Walker decrees new shot the year prior and it’s adapted by all leagues) and hits it! Celebration! In your face, Auntie! Allie goes on to become first female coach of the Los Angeles Clippers in 2028, replacing Coach Del Negro (8 time NBA champ Coach Del Negro to you, losers!). Has a wicked happy life to brag about at all family reunions. Joy! Joy! Joy!

Olivia Smith – Oliva plays on two more state title winners at MacAulee. Accepts offer from Boston College to play at the Heights. Decides to join the Andrea Jaeger Nunnery after sophomore year. Goes on to be the best damn nun ever!

Molly Mack – Senator and Mr. Mack will replace Senator Collins in 2020

Sadie DiPierro - The only starter not to play D1 basketball. While at Harvard, sophomore year, she starts a website for social networking, called iDrone. iDrone, financed by The TinaFeyCo, purchases military style drones to spy on unsuspecting private citizens and their utterly boring lives. Thus, iDrone!

Jackie Welch
Monia Mukiza
Lauren Coulombe
Ayla Tarte
Laura Holman
Morgan Wheeler
Mary Leasure

= The Seven Samurai - were great, great teammates, and they'll all be friends forever and ever.


Kate Liziewski – Becomes co-star of her own reality show, “18 Is Plenty!” with her husband. The show follows Kate, Lars and their brood of 16 kids through the trials and tribulations of home schooling 16 little kids. Kate takes to motherhood as naturally as any mother ever has, manages not to strangle any of the little shits, and teaches us all how to live and love and learn.

Alexa Coulombe – Attends Boston College. Named to All Big East freshman team….sorry, All ACC freshmen team. Leads moribound BC program to NCAA birth her sophomore season, and the Sweet 16 her senior season, where her Eagles are beaten by Coach Mulkey’s Baylor Lady Bears, who win their 200th game in a row in defeating Alexa’s squad. Alexa becomes all time leading scorer at BC, and gets drafted by LA Sparks. Moves to LA following graduation, in 2017. Babysits Broe’s kids some nights, when she’s not kicking ass in the WNBA. Goes on "The View" to promote women's basketball and E Hasselbeck asks for HER autograph! Marries Ryan Gosling, who gets tired of those needy, self centered, pampered Hollywood celebrity types and goes out with a real woman, an athlete and wonderful person, falling for her the first time they go to a Lakers game together.

And they all lived happily.

Good Luck, Lindsay

I won't watch until tomorrow am, but good luck tonight. I think pressure is thinking that people want me/you/anyone to fail. That's pressure. But we all want you to kill it tonight, so go to it, kiddo.

Love,
Joe

Sexy at 100: The Couples

1) Michael Douglas (67) and Catherine Zeta Jones (42)

2) MJ Fox (50) and Tracy Pollan (51)

3) Kevin Kline (64) and Pheobe Cates (48)

4) Glenn Close (64) and Mr. David Shaw (61)

5) Meryl (62) and Don Gummar (65) (Gummeey? Gummeay? What is THAT GUYS's NAME!)

6) Helen (66!) and Taylor Hackford (67!)

7) Joannie McCallie (45) and her hubby, John McCallie (age better be 55 or more) - The head coach at Duke is smokin' hot. Daughter of a Navy pilot? D1 basketball at NORTHWESTERN? Led the girls up in Orono to the promised land? Led MState and Duke to greatness? You better believe Joannie is smokin' hot!

8) Bruce (62) and Patti (a scorching hot 58. yes, indeedy)

9) Mr. and Mrs. Rand - ages unknown due to foreign births

10) Steven Speilberg (65) and the lovely Kate Kapshaw (58)

================

Juuuuuuuust missed it:

Broe: 2025

Elizabeth Shue and David Guggenheim = 2014 (if they make it!)

Clooney and Stacy = 2021 (not a fucking chance...she's my backup plan if Broe doesn't work out! She or Reese. Or I'lll steal Katie away from that old guy.)

Tina Fey (41) and Jeff Richmond (51) - 2017 - That's if Richmond doesn't pull a Brian Cash-man!

================

Just so you y'all know: It's a lot of fun to write this stuff up. Make your own list, kids. It's awesome to be creative. I have $600 in my checking account and feel really good. It's not money that matters, it's peace/piece of mind. Go see Project X today and have a great time. Me? I'm going to see the MacAleey vs Coney!

Oh Why? Why? Why? - Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Bruins into the stands after the game Sunday as MSG, 1230 start?

(You grab my stick, mutherfucker and I'm all in, too.)

Celtics kicking the living shit out of Chink boy (another Harvvaard pussy come to town) at the REAL Gahden at 1pm?

Yes, please. Thas why I've got 2 tvs.

(Had 3. Something happened to it the other day. Couldn't find my glasses and tripped over it. I think. Whateva.)

Placeholder President

What will they say about you in 10 years?

Your own aircraft carrier, maybe an airport in Chi-town?

That's about all, my man

That's about all

=============

What will they say about us?

That Joe and Brit changed the world

They changed the world:

There is no button

Big Pharma is strangling this country

There are no straight men, almost

Lots of other good stuff

and

still...

It's all Chris Ford's fault

===============

We are changing the world, she and me

===============

You're stacking your pickup teams with Dukies and Harvard men

While I toil up here in the hinterland

Abused

Tortured

Loved

The Ballad Of Mike Milbury

AP - 3/1/12 851pm

Former Bruins enforcer and All Star defenseman Mike Milbury has been arrested for getting into an altercation with a 12 year old boy, an opponent of Milbury's son's pee wee team, during a between periods incident Thursday night at Hockeytown in Revere. The boy, a Kenneth Drydenne of Malden, Mass, fought Milbury to a draw but decided to press charges anyway after hearing about all the NHL money Mr. Milbury had hidden away. A lawsuit is pending.

Milbury's son, Bobby M. Milbury, apparently was checked wicked hadddd into the boards by young Mr. Drydenne during the first period, and his Dad, Bruins legendary brawler Mike, got into it with the kid between periods of the game on Thursday night.

Overheard during the altercation:

Mike Milbury:"I don't like you or your shoe, you little shit, and this is what I'm going to do about it!"

Drydenne: "Mr. Milbury...Rick DiPietro for $100 million dollars? Really?

Milbury: "Yeah, you crappy French punk ass little twerp, I'm gonna make you wish you were never born!"

Drydenne" "Mr. Milbury, I'm shocked the Bruins haven't retired your number. Maybe something like the Celtics did with Jim Luscotoff? Maybe, "Mike 'The Shoe' " or something classy like that? Don't you think that would be nice? No?"

Because B Wants Me To "Just B Joe", or was it "JBJoe"?

reading the NBA Box scores from 2/29/12 – Once every four years….

John Wall – in a loss to a good Orlando team (they’re baccccck), Wall had 33 pts, only 4 assists, and 1 fucking TO. Building block? Building block. The only other assets on that team are McGee and maybe Crawford. Wouldn’t surprise me in the least to see an entire new team next season, save for Wall and Crawford and McGee. Better update your resumes, boys. And learn to speak Mandarin.

The Warriors are about to blow up their shitty roster, I can feel it. Big move, why not? WTF? Lee is staying, almost certainly, with his K, but Ellis is a big time player who can contribute on a championship team. What a microwave he’d make for someone good. Oh my, he’d make a good microwave. Klay and Steph are keepers, certainly. But no one is off limits. Blow it up, Larry Riley. You got GREAT FANS who want a winner, and I want a winner in GS so I can say “Roary!” when I visit next season! (“Inside Moves” reference – 1st of the day – one of the great and underrated movies ever made, as I’ve said before)

We’re looking at seven wins in a row, my compadres: C’s toast Bucks – KG played GREAT, he ate up the Bucks big men, sure sure Gooden got his 20 and 8, and DID NOTHING, KG was immense last night! – I’m telling ya: extra passes are THE KEY TO BASKETBALL. You hit a guy in the face with the ball on the break in the first quarter he runs even harder the rest of the night, mutherfuckers! Believe it!
Great effort by the Cs. Avery is even getting it: PUSH PUSH PUSH. Brandon has been Brandon all year long – the unsung hero, (I’m surprised at how good a scorer he is)

Bucks roster –
Shaun –LIFT you pussy, your career is almost over
Brandon – don’t change a fucking thing kid, you’re awesome!
Mike – love your game, gotta get on a good team and get that ring!
Larry Sanders – oozed talent
A nice roster, not bad at all

Charlotte – do they have their first rounder? If they do, look the fuck out, they have talent on that team!
Kemba, Gerald, and DJ in the backcourt
With the rook Biyombo up front, four building blocks, plus a top five pick? Yes, please, just be patient, Charlotte and look to Ok City! No, I’m not shitting you! Think of your assets and think about two years from now: The future is bright in Charlotte!

Knicks: How good are they? Really good. The question coming into the season was pg play. Baron Davis isn’t the answer, though for 15/20 m a night not too many teams have a better backup. (Name one? I can’t) Lin has changed the balance of power in the East division. You put up a line like he did last night of 33m, 6 2s, 7-9 from the line, 13 assists, and 1 to and you’re a player! Lin seems to be for real. He was way too good for Harvard and that school’s legacy as a non basketball school held him back for his first couple of years. But the dude is for real and so are the Knickerbockers. Damn straight. It’s great to see for the good of the game. We’ll see y'all Sunday at 1pm.

Toronto and New Orleans – how did these once promising teams get so fucked up? They both have no assets.

Carlos Boozer - =/- for the night = -5. He was on the court for 23 minutes and got 8 and 8, and did absolutely nothing good. Just kills the Bulls. Every time he’s on the court they get worse.

Joakim is one of the best basketball players in the world, and no one but ballers knows it. He is incredible. Like Shaq said about free throws goes double for Joakim and his j. What a player.

And Asik is terrific, too. Just a terrific defender and everything else. And he might still be growing. He’s huge.

When I saw DeJuan Blair flip that big kid from UConn over his back like he was taking off a sweater his junior season at Pitt, I said a) he’s strong! B) he ain’t no NBA player. 1 out of 2 ain’t bad. What an incredible pick by Gregg Pop. Incredible pick. They got a terrific player in the second round. Fuck you, SA. You know why, doncha?

Matt Bonner’s time in the NBA is almost up. What a run, though. What a run. We'll see you at the Concord Y, I hope, Matt. And your sister, too? Pretty please?

How the hell is Houston 21-15? I see nothing on their roster. Smart guys run that team, almost too smart. Gotta lose big at some point in the NBA to replenish.

The Wolves next year? 50 game winners. Book it.

===========

I got one last thing to say....

HOW THE FUCK CAN THE SEASON BE ALMOST OVER WHEN I JUST WOKE THE FUCK UP?

You Doubt Me (Yet)?

Project X is coming Friday

========

Friday Edit:

It's heyah. And it's all that I thought. Tell your parents before going that they did the same shit you guys do, they just didn't have video to record it all

I LUVVVVVVV IT

Giancarlo Stanton it is, my man

Why do I luv it? Because I'll call you.....oh....I don't know....Pitbull if that's what you want to be called. Too often guys get stuck with Anglo names in their rookie seasons and then have to live with it their whole careers.

Your South Florida Marlins...potential 2012 WS winners. Believe it....

Tek To Retire

Jason Varitek, second best catcher in Sox history, will announce his retirement tomorrow.

Effective date: 4/1/2008

Just For Fun: I Like Both Guys

RGIII: The Next Big Thing in Pro Sports

Andrew Luck: Mr. Interception

---------------

I'm just saying, not everybody can be great. Luck could be awesome, but anybody with a Dad as shitty a QB as his needs to prove hiself, and he honestly hasn't.

RGIII just looks like a winner and a stud to me. If I'm picking first in the 2012 NFL Draft, it's an easy call. He's Michael Vick without the Vick-i-ness, man. Take Peyton's head and Vick's body and ya got something. Am I right?

(And NO, it's NOT cuz he's from BAYLOR!)

The Oscars? What I Saw

Red Carpet?

Jessica: Outstanding
Penelope: Ravishing
Tina: You have such pretty hair, why do you hide it?
Angelina: She should adopt herself (so skinny)
George and Stacey: Wow
Emma : Too much red
Natalie: Wow
Cameron: Very pretty
J-Lo: Too much skin for 40
Maya: Always
Busy: I would/wood
Glenn: Sexy as hell

Ghosts of Maine Basketball High School Tournaments Past, Present, and Future

You think it cain't happen to you, Dustin? Hell, it's happening to you right now, my man.


Past: Keegan Hyland

Best player in the state. Troubled year. Comes back for end of campaign and tears it up in States. Gets full boat out to Gonzaga. Leaves after a week because the other kids had better clothes in their closets (or maybe that was somebody else who could play. my bad, Keegan). Comes home. Goes to UVM, leaves. Where is he today? I do not know. How very sad. How very human. Hang in there, Keegan. You could play and that means you're a hell of a kid. It's just that the kids with less "talent" are blowing your doors off right about now, in college and at work, socially, blogging, all that. Happens to the best of them.


Present: Dustin

Troubled year. Comes on strong in tourney. Leads team to Western Maine final on Saturday night, vs the immigrant kids from Deering: Could be the best high school boys game this state has ever seen. Seriously. Big time game tomorrow night. But then there's the aftermath...


Future: Dustin Cole

It's in your hands, my friend. You get to write what happens next. You are midmajor D1 talent, no question. Maybe more. The most talented guard in the state since Ralph Mims (if he counts). You can have a career in the game, like your coach. You can play D1 and play on tv. You can be a washout. You can do the rehab shuffle. It's all in your hands. Do I believe in you? I'm writing about you, aren't I?

Write your own script, Dustin Cole.

2012 Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame Class...Should Be:

... I think: Reggie Miller, Don Nelson, Dick Motta (ring), Coach Rick Pitino (you kidding?), Bill Fitch (ring), Ralph Sampson, Bernard King (bad fucker)

That’s a pretty good class. Big, but deserving. Where’s the women?

esp...

Where’ my girl?

To Kris-ten Anderson

Hey Kris-ten... (watch this)

============

That's about right, young lady: You play the game the right way.

The right way.

Just like Ernie D, whom I only saw live when he was at the end of his time with the Celtics, feeding Hondo for elbow j's all afternoon.

You guys in the Anderson household love the game, too? Then you need to know about Ernie D and Providence College.

Chris Brown: All Man

This man is BAD!


This man is BAD X2


It takes balls, brains, and talent to lay it all on the line like that. Chris is my man.

ILYC

Watching Morning Joe..

It struck me: Why don't we/they/us/US talk about the real reason the Presidential and Congressional elections are so damn important?

TAX POLICY, man. TAX POLICY.

My $1,300 iMac?

Has a $50 keyboard. WTF? I don't see any better ones on Apple.fuckyou.....sorry Apple.dead....sorry Apple.ipo....sorry Apple.screwyouamerica. (Got it)

I'M A Dinosaur? ME? ME? You're the one's leaving no trace!

Hank and Bo 1990 Google search

==========

Any sports fan of a decent age knows about Hank and Bo 1990. THIS IS WHAT THE INTERNET IS FUCKING FOR!!!! And there's NOTHING. NOTHING.

WTF? Who do I pay....

.....to shoot in the fucking....


...groin....

.....The assholes who took off YouTube all my great memories of LMU's run in 1988, 1989, and 1990.

I KNOW IT HAPPENED I JUST CAIN'T PROVE IT HAPPENED!

Hey Mr. Internet: Fuck you!

More.

D___ Ch____

B-----

The Firs- -----

G-v

me/M-

y-u

fags. sorry, f----

str-----s

---l S----t

M--- S----t

la--l-r-s

t----ts

the -ome-ess

home-----s

bl---s

w-h--s

C------s

My Abuser. One.

R__h O'____e

The Globe: All The News Fit To Print(?)

The Globe photos of The Fucking Game last night...

=========

Gisele: You. Are. History. Asshole.

Hey! Is that Mark Wahlberg? No?

Mariah, Katy. Katy, Mariah. (sigh)

Joe: This boys alright

Boy, Jessie ever tell ya how I saved Martin's life? No? Sit down and let ol' Jessie tell yall the story. Wait, son. Don't go!

Are you guys as crazy as I think you are? Rosie: You're mean and always have been. Jenny, you get a pass. Guess why: I used to have your picture under my bed when I lived in C-Ville in the small apartment. Your Playboy pix are probably still there. Wet.

My Thoughts on The Fucking Game (To Be Updated All Day)

Best halftime show since Bono? NO

(The Who was)

The lesson to us/US all?

Do what you do.. (yes) and do it well, and don't try to be something you were 20 years ago

Sorry, Madge, but it's true

============

Give My Love To Madge, Hon

Would you please, Brit?
Would you please give my love to Madge?

She's 53 and wants to turn back the clock
To when she and I were kids
Coming out of nowhere towns
To the bigtime

She wants to do it all over again
And Brit, I need you to tell her that
You cain't, man
You cain't

She's in my memories of a tough time in my life
That's all I know
She never could dance or sing all that good
But her heart was 4 sizes too big

Now, that's all she has left to offer the world
Her body is halfway gone
But my Madge's mind is still there

Please tell her I love her
And always did
From the first moment I saw her
On a Friday night video

My Hometown, Too

I was eight years old and running with a dime in my hand
Into the bus stop to pick up a paper for my old man
I'd sit on his lap in that big old Buick and steer as we drove through town
He'd tousle my hair and say son take a good look around, this is your hometown

This is your hometown
This is your hometown
This is your hometown

In '82 tension was running high at my high school
There was a lot of fights between the snobs and me
There was nothing they would do

Two cars at a light on a Saturday night
In the back seat there coulda been a gun
Words were passed and in a verbal blast
Troubled times they had come, to my hometown

My hometown
My hometown
My hometown

Now Main Street's white washed windows and vacant stores
Seems like there ain't nobody wants to come down here no more

They're closing down the middle class jobs across the highway signs
My father said those jobs are going, Joey, and they ain't coming back
To our hometown

Our hometown
Our hometown
Our hometown

Last night me and Brit, we laid in bed
Talking about getting out
Packing up our bags, maybe heading west
I'm forty-five and we got four boys of our own now
Last night I sat John John up behind the wheel and said son take a good look around

This is our hometown

"Turn The Page"

Damian Lillard highlights

According to Andy Katz, this kid is a lottery pick. Looks like he is.

What would Eminem say about this kid coming out of nowhere to the lottery?

I know what my man did say, a few years back. Actually, more than a few years back

"When the Music Stops"

Music, reality, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference
But we as entertainers have a responsibility to these kids
Sike!

If I were to die murdered in cold blood tomorrow
Would you feel sorrow or show love
Or would it matter
Can never be the lead-off batter of things
Shit for me to feed off
I'm see-saw battling
But theres way too much at stake for me to be fake
There's too much on my plate
And I came way too far in this game to turn and walk away
And not say what I got to say
What the fuck you take me for? a joke? you smoking crack?
Before I do that, I beg Mariah to take me back
I get up 'for I get down, run myself in the ground, 'for I put some wack shit out
I'm trying-a smack this one out the park, five-thousand mark
You all steady trying to drown the shark
Ain't gonna do nothing but piss me off
Lid to the can of whoop ass, just twist me off
See me leap out, pull the piece out, fuck shooting I'm just trying to knock his teeth out
Fuck with me now, bitch, let's see you freestyle
Talk is cheap, motherfucker if you're really feeling froggish, leap
You're slim, you're gonna let him get away with that?
He tried to play you, you can't let him 'scape with that
Man I hate this crap, this ain't rap,
This is crazy the way we act
When we confuse hip-hop with real life when the music stops

There ain't no getting rid of McVeigh
If so you would've tried
The only way I'm leaving this bitch is suicide
I have died clinically, arrived back at my enemy's crib with Hennessey,
Got drunk then I finished he
I'm every niggas favorite arch-enemy.
Physically fitted to be the most dangerous nigga with beef
I spark willingly with a dillinger in the dark diligently
I'm not what you think
I appear to be fucked up
Mentally endangered
I can't stay away from a razor
I just want my face in a paper
I wish a nigga had a grenade to squeeze tight to awake neighbors for acres
I murder you
Danger had me turned into a mad man, son of Sam, bitch, I'm surgical
I'll allergic to dying, you think not? you got balls? We can see how large
When the music stops

I was happy having a deal at first,
Thought money would make me happy but
It only made my pain worst,
It hurts when you see your friends turn their back on you dawg
When you ain't got nothing left but your word and your balls
And you're stressed from the calls of your new friends
Beggin' with they hands out
Checking for your record when its selling
When it ain't, that's the end, no laughs
No friends no girl
Just the gin you drink till you car spin you then
[Screech]
Damn!
[Crash]
U slam into the wall and you fall
Out the car, trying to crawl with one arm
About to lose it all in a pool of alcohol
If my funeral's tomorrow, wonder if they would even call when the music stops

Let's see how many of your men loyal,
When I pull up looking for you,
With a pistol sipping on a can of pennzoil
I'm revved up, who said what would lead bust your head would just explode
With red stuff I'm hand cuffed tossed in the paddy wagon
Braggin about how you shot it like a coward, bullets devour you showered you
Niggas, if I was you niggas, I'll run while given the chance
Understand I can enchance the spirit of man
Death itself, it can't hurt me, just the thought of dying alone that really
Irks me, you ain't worthy to speak thoughts of cheap talk
Be smart and stop trying to walk how g's walk before we spark
Hug the floor while we plan tug-o-war with your life, fuck the tour and the mic
I'll rather fuck a whore with a knife, deliver that shit the coroner's like
You high hype poppin' shit in broad day light nigga your a gonna at night

============

Welcome, kid

Welcome to hell, my man Damian

you got it? you get it?

My Prediction?

Pain

=======

Two boobs (get it?)

=======

The winning team will wear blue

=======

Collinsworth will talk about HIS Super Bowl

=======

Shots of:

Rooney Mara (who's he?)

John Candy (good get)

Tom's Mom and Dad. Not Gisele. She's home folding laundry, shopping at Market Basket, that type of high fashion model stuff. Yeah.

BB's current squeeze

Mrs. Snee

Peyton, looking Peyton-serious (that's some serious serious)

=======

Halftime Guest of Madge?

JLD?

Roseanne?

Mitt?

Janet? In a ,,,,,dress?

JT? In a ...dress?

my girl? better fucking not be. she's got dishes to do (get it?)

========

It's like watching two brothers fight

I offer the usual pre-game prayer...

Good Song. New To Me.

here/hear

iHurt

Pain is all I know
Write now
No one cares
They think it's funny
(What's for dinner? Is that show on again?)
Fuck you

Your stupidity allows you to live and breath, my friend
My intelligence is a curse

This keyboard cost $50, and will never be as good as my old one
Because Steve Jobs was not an artist, he
Just a businessman
Steve wanted money money money
Not to help people like me
But to rape people like me
I hope he died knowing his life was a fucking waste
Just like mine

The little girl looked back at me like she wanted to hit me
For me having big feet
It took
One second
To see her past, present, and future
She was unhappy
Is unhappy
And will die unhappy
Thanks to her mom and dad

Was it worth it?
The extruciating back pain
Caused by all that watching?
No
It never is
Why did I do it?
I had nothing else to do

I wish it was over
It won't be for a long while
Will someone help me?
I knew you wouldn't

It'd be better if it wasn't

============

Today is Sunday
and there's nothing to do

============

The pain in my heart
Is bent

Windchill is bullshit

My life is hell

Torture torture torture
(What's for dinner? )
((Rape))

How can I ask my abusers to stop it
When they are having fun?

As long as they don't kill me they will continue
Because you/they/she can't see inside my veins
To read the ache
If there's a body, done twitching
Then that's a story
That's a show
As it is, my misery is funny
(what's for dinner?)
((more rape for you, kid))

==============

315 pounds
crushing my hips, knees, and ankles
I try to stand up
And have to suffer the pain

No matter what I do
The pain is there
When they turn it up
The pain gets worse
From a 2 to a 9

Can you imagine the worst day of your life
Lived over and over
For 45 years?
That's what it's like

==============

She thinks we're having a date
It's a sentence
For both of us

==============

If I could strangle my abusers
I wouldn't
Which means they'll keep abusing me
I wish I was dead
And buried

==============

They wake me after an hour of sleep
I fall again
They wake me after two hours of sleep
That's it for the night

==============

"I Consider Myself To Be The Luckiest Man Alive..."

This just in...

Brian Cash-man has a penis

That is all

==========

Brian Cash-man fucked people other than Jeter?

==========

Brian Cash-man: How much was he paying her?

==========

Guys like Cash-man: Revenge of the Turds

==========

The Evil Empire just got taken down by a stalker

(And to think, they could have had me at $1. Million. Dollars)

==========

Now Brian and A-Rod can make beautiful music together. With Lourdes. Yeah, I said it. Fuck it. I'll die of a heart attack someday soon.

==========

This would have killed George: Cash-man getting laid twice in a lifetime

==========

Sex Tape: Cashman and his wife. Rated PG-13

==========

Instead of "Enter Sandman", they can play Johnny's "I Still Miss Someone"

==========

How many before he hits his bonus? And how much is his bimbo bonus? More than Jetes?

==========

Is she sure it was him? I mean, these ARE the Yankers?

==========

I'll send some of my runoff down to the Bronx for y'all

==========

Man, I thought there were ssssoooooo many beautiful chicks on The Bronx Beat. Dude just didn't look hard enough. Get it?

==========

Did he come on the glass? Or was it a hand job?

==========

She's a slut, but she really wants to direct

==========

So Cash-man is a free agent on the prowl. Man, don't even think about it. She's my girl. Mom is perfectly happy living in Kittery. You'd just break her little heart, Cash-man

==========

Double Date Time: Me, B, Cashman, and A-Rod's Ego. We'd take a walk through Central Park. A slow one, since A-Rod and I are now cripples.

==========

First Sox-Yankers series next season. Owner's box. Cash-man sitting by himself. Shoes off. Tattoos on his arms, illegible. White t. Muscles bulging. No, wait, that's Ryan Gosling pretending to be me

==========

Fun With Google

"President Obama leader" - 322,000,000 hits

"President Obama do nothing" - 244,000,000

"President Obama awesome" - 69,700,000

"President Obama first black president" - 317,000,000

"President Obama last black president" - 335,000,000

"President Obama basketball player" - 104,000,000


Can you make sense of this crap? I can't. But it's interesting...

One Day - One More Game

Brady - The Chiefs are looking to replace Cassel. Don't do it, Tommy Boy!

Hoyer - I like the looks of this kid. Matt made serious money in this same situation a couple of years ago.

Mallett - Who knows? How is he doing, guys?

Faulk - 5 foot 7 and all heart. This. Is. It.

Green-Ellis - Great year in my book. This kid runs hard and with purpose.

Ridley - The future #1 back on NE. Real talented.

Vereen - Health is the most underrated part of being an athlete. He hasn't been healthy.

Woodhead - Worth the fourth round flyer. What?

Polite - Not much pt.

Branch - A great Patriot. Fun to watch. Disappears sometimes.

Edelman - Plays the game the right way. Will be here next year.

85 - Last game as Pat. Good career, but what has he won?

Slater - Terrific Pat. Has done very fucking well for himself.

Underwood - Good year.

Wes - Is 30 years old and may never be this good again. Hall of Famer.

Gronk - Remember Shockey, kid? Barely?

Hernandez - I think he will have more catches than Gronk when all is said and done. 100% football player. Great pick by BB.

Koppen - Will be in the Pats HOF. 5th rounder: Great job all the way around with him: front office, coaches, and Danny.

Wendell - Good player to have on roster.

Connolly - I expect C spot is his next year, and I'm fine with that.

Mankins - Simply a great, impactful player. Worth every penny.

McDonald - Guys like this are needed on every team. Look at Connolly.

Ohrnberger - Same thing as McDonald.

Thomas - Ditto. Dante does great things with workers.

Waters - Looks good so far. Does he really weigh 320? Looks about 280 to me. Terrific year. Has had a media presence.

Cannon - Solid year to build on.

Hix - Ditto.

Light - One of the great Pats linemen. A championship team simply has to have several Matt Light's on it. And, man, he ain't done yet.

Solder - Huge talent who simply must get stronger. Could become the best tackle in team history eventually.

Vollmer - Health problems have derailed a possibly great career. Things are up in the air with this dude.


Anderson - Great year!

Brace - I think it's clear it ain't gonna happen for this second rounder.

Carter - Great year! One of the keys to the season. Wonderful free agent signing.

Cox - Not much pt.

Deaderick - Good year.

Ellis - Has not been on the field much, but impactful when he has been.

Wright - One of my favorite Pats of recent vintage.

Love - Good year.

Pryor - Took a step back.

Warren - Is he still on the roster? Made some money, man. Good for him.

Vince - The best D-Lineman in Pats history. He and Matt Light and Tommy are the cornerstones.

Cunningham - Bust.

Fletcher - Solid player.

Guyton - Not on field much, partially due to repeated mental errors.

Koutouvides - Has a chance for a career.

Mayo - Limited talent, but gets the most out of it.

Ninkovich - Good player.

Spikes - My favorite of the Pats linebackers. When this dude is healthy and on the field, the announcers are always talking about him cuz he makes plays.

Tarpinian - Just a kid. We'll see.

White - Good year. Egg on my face, he can play.

Arrington - Terrific year.

Dowling - Still a talent.

Jones - Not much run.

McCourty - One of the most valuable assets on the team. Has taken heat for giving up big plays.

Molden - Can play.

Moore - Great instincts and a worker. Will have to fight to make team next year.

Williams - Not much run.

Barrett - Disappointing season.

Brown - Can play. Valuable.

Chung - Really good year. I believe in Pat Chung.

ihedibgo - Worth the money. Good year.

Lockett - Limited ability.

Gostkowski - He doesn't miss 33 yarders. The only reason Adam is going to the HOF is opportunity. I believe in this guy the same as I believed in Adam.

Mesko - Really good punter.

Aiken - No fumbles? That's a good long snapper!


Dante - O-Line Coach - His record speaks for itself.

Bill O'Brien - OC - Has done a really good job, aside from the meltdowns. That's a negative.

Scott O'Brien - Special Teams - No problems the second half of the year.

Josh Boyer - D-Backs - This is the weakness of the team. A lot of wasted draft picks. Lots of blame to go around.

Ivan Fears Running Backs - Has done a great job with these guys.

Pepper - D-Line - Great year!

Brian Ferentz - He's the tight ends coach. Duh! Future O-C somewhere in league.

Patrick Graham - Linebackers. Good job with limited talent. Would kill to use one of the early picks on a monster, but a lot of those guys turn out to be busts. I expect largely the same group back next year.

Brian Flores - Defensive Assistant - We'll see.

Harold Nash - Strength and Conditioning - Not too many game lost to injury and the team's W/L speaks for itself.

Matt Patricia - Safeties - Does this look guy look like a really good coach or what? I can see Mayo calming Matt down every halftime.

Chad O'Shea - Wide Recievers - Good year.

Moses Cabrera Assistant Strength and Conditioning - Good year.

George Godsey - Offensive Assistant - The O is the best in the NFL.

Josh McDaniels - Offensive Assistant - Don't fuck this up, "boy wonder."

Nick Caserio - Director of Player Personnel - Clearly a bight future.

Floyd Reese - Senior Football Advisor - Now THAT'S the life!

Bill Belichick - Still lots of run left.

Jonathan Kraft - President -Doing incredible things in a sometimes thankless job.

Bob Kraft - The best owner in sports, and the finest man in New England. Thanks so much, Mr. Kraft. What you guys do down there in Foxboro matters to Patriots everywhere.

Sweeney High

February 5th

Senior Night

The Signing of the Wall by Graduating Seniors

It's been a tradition here at Sweeney High to have all senior basketball players sign the gymnasium wall on Senior Night. Some teams have chosen to sign in an orderly manner, one right after another within the same general space. Some chose to sign different areas of the gym wall, apart from their teammates. Some chose not to sign, even.

The Signing of the Wall has been a beloved tradition since the school's founding. Kids come back ten, twenty, even fifty years after graduating and check out their signatures. Sometimes, spouses and kids are involved. A few great grandchildren have even been able to trace grandma's handwriting from back when she was playing for Sweeney High. How cool is that?

Just The Facts, Man

The media may try to spin you guys

but the fact remains

the G-Men were 9-7

and the Pats 13-3

meaning NE's best game will probably win

(what?)

The Ugliest BC Team Was Also The Best

1994. Jim O'Brien's Eagles beat Dean Smith's one seeded national champions in the second round. BC made it out of the 8/9 first round game to meet Carolina and stun the basketball world over the weekend. Billy Curley made the cover of SI (first BC kid since Flutie). It was a very big deal at the time.

The thing that struck me about that team, thinking about them just now, the morning after Coach O'Brien and Billy came up to Standish to play local DIII squad St. Joseph's (Emerson lost), is how fucking ugly that particular Eagle team was.

Don't get me wrong. Jay Murphy and the English guy with a temper were no prizes. Michael Adams? Looked like a horse kicked him in the face (you ever really look at Mike's face?) Bags?

But the '94 team? Ugliest Eagles ever (not including the cheerleaders down through the years. That's a whole nother story)

---------------

The Eagles...

Gerrod Abram - Big Ass Abram

Danya Abrams -Are you kidding me? Smith called him "the dirtiest player in the country." Should have called him the unsightlieast

Brad Christianson - Big white guy who, I'm sure was ugly. He just never got in any games soz I could get a look at him

Bill Curley - Now this dude is ugly. 6 10, all arms, legs, and knees. Ran like he was falling out of a building. And he beat the fucking Heels that year in one of the biggest wins in BC history

Howard Eisley - Pretty boy did pretty good for himself in The Association, didn't he? If you had said this guy was a ten year NBA player his senior year in high school in Michigan, you'd have gotten a lot of bets against. (=Don't give up)

Paul Grant - As ugly as Curley without the talent. Paint chipper

Kevin Hrobowski - Who?

Malcolm Huckaby - Played like he was named

Keenan Jourdon - Ugly bench guy

Marc Molinsky- Ugly bench guy

Jim Ryan - Ugly bench guy. Do you think with a name like "Jim Ryan" the kid was black? Nope? Good for you


Good thing OBie (aka Fireman Bill) was on hand to dress things up a bit....

(what?)

Chris Duhon Hearts Reggie Love

Chris, I never knew you cared.

You've been in the NBA what, ten years? And now that your boy got insulted you decide to play hard, against my man John Wall?

That shit is weak, bro.

Real men bring it every night in The Association. Not once every four years.

The Trustbuster President? Not Bloody Likely

If I don't pay my cable bill to Time Warner, my service gets cut off. If I do pay, often times my service is cut off due to poor connections and whatever the fuck else happens with that crap.

But if I try to pay less than the bill asks for, say 140 bucks instead of 150 bucks because ESPN6 is off and all the other expensive channels are down, I might get that ten dollars off if I cry and moan and whine for three or four hours. But that's time out of my 168 that I don't get to think about.....(who do you think?).

The economy is tilted way too much in favor of the two dozen or so biggest companies in America. They do what they want when they want it to whomever they want. Competition? How 20th Century, you fox.

This calls for leadership.

Shit.

This Just In...

Killer Bees, from South America, are alllllllmost here, America.

Believe it.

What?

My 15 Seconds Are Almost Up, And...

...Who am I supporting in November?

Anyone but Barry.

---------------

the current VP, Joe Biden? Fine

the GOP nominee, Gov. Romney? Fine

---------------

It breaks my heart to write this. We were all seduced by this guy. 51% of us, anyway.

And we were wrong. I can judge a man pretty quickly in the right situation, based on my experiences over the last couple of years.

And Barry's performance at the White House when my boys, the B's, were there, sealed it for me. He was petty, vindictive, and mean.

I had, at that moment, maybe four bucks in the bank. Barry has trillions.

Do you want that big of a jerk as POTUS?

I

Do

Not

2012 Red Sox - Let The Healing Begin!

Bobby I's predicted batting order...

Dustin
Jacoby
Gonzo
Papi
Youk
Kalish
Craw
Rook
Aviles

You got a better one?

I'm all ears...

This Just In...

If The Bible is the only book you've picked up this year....

YOU'RE AN IDIOT

Lemmings

Facebook IPO worth over. Ten. Million. Dollars.

Or something like that.

-------------------

Since I'm speaking to you from the year 2015, I'll make this question short:

What the fuck is a facebook?

My Second Challenge of the Day

I ask all the folks who make a living in the health care field:

Do you really believe that 60 years ago the world went suddenly mad and required all of us to be so heavily medicated with your drugs and pills and powders and lotions and soaps and shampoos?

Do you really believe that ALL OF A SUDDEN half the people in America became so depressed as to require $1,000 worth of pills a month to keep them going? Do you really believe that?

Do you, the doctors of America, take your oath seriously? The part about "First, do no harm?"

Do you, as pharmaceutical executives, feel comfortable draining trillions of dollars from the US economy so you can have a third Mercedes or yacht or vacation home?

It's as plain as the noses on our faces.

Just as plain as women deserving the right to vote, just as plain as black people being franchised, just as plain as the Emancipation Proclamation, as the fucking Constitution itself.

These damn drugs don't work and do so very much hard. Please stop.

Connections

Kelly Preston in People, at 50, this week

Not happy at getting old

she was mean to Tom Cruise in that movie

and nice to McDreamy in another, who is

on that tv show I've never seen

Kelly's

married to John fucking Travolta

and living three hours from here

----------

the girl in

"Can't Buy Me Love"

(How'd they EVER get the rights to that song?)

I remember my brother suggesting that movie

And me loving it

I always wanted a girl to jump ship for

And she's here

Well, not here exactly

But we'll get together

Eventually

Like McDreamy and Kelly

in that undercover car

get it?

Ask Craig Robinson and the others

Robinson, brother in law of our POTUS, always claimed he could tell what kind of person a man was by how he played the game of basketball.

Well, if that's true I challenge the press to track down Barry's teammates on that high school team he is so proud of and find out what they thought of and think of our man Barry.

Sounds pretty easy, right?

Pure 100% Awesomeness

Basketball Blog Ups based on last night's boxes, from Apt404.... (What?)

-------------------

DeMarcus Cousins – in a loss to GS: 36 m, 5-7 from the line, 8-15 from floor, 14 rebounds, 4 turnovers (that’s’ fine, big man!). He KIN' play, Westy!

The Pacers – they’re 14-6! Larry really does know a little about the game!

Avery Bradley – 37 m in place of Rajon and he had one assist. E’Twaun Moore is gonna take your minutes very soon, dude

Dante Cunningham is a half decent NBA player. Dude was about the fifth option for Jay Wright. Unbelievable things can happen

Anthony Davis, M-K-G, Terrance Jones, Doron Lamb, and The Second Teague, with help from Kyle and Darius Miller: Night after night after night, they’re getting’ it done, boys. Great job. Very exciting

Hey Hoos: Naming the arena after somebody really famous and then telling everybody that asks that it’s NOT named after somebody famous is about as pretentious as it gets. Great job! You’re real Cavaliers now! Terry Holland must be so proud! Go after that #2 seed for Tom Sheehey and (sniff sniff) Craig Robinson. And my man Keith Friel.

Vandy? What the fuck, man? 14-6? What’s wrong with that program. They're as talented as any team in the country 1 through 5. Coaching? Or are you guys not listening? Either way, something's wrong in Nashville

Bowling Green vs Miami women at Millett Hall on Feb 25th. It’s gonna be awesome. The two best teams in the MAC. 'Bout time for us. BGSU has been the dominant MAC program for Coach Miller’s entire time up there. Not anymore

Does Mizzo still have the Antlers? Man, that was fun, I’ll bet, to go into that old arena and shut those fuckers up in their getups. Heard they were so nasty some guy had to band aid up before every game! Kim Mulkey’s Lady Bears are coming up north tonight to play the Lady Tigers. Should be fun for both teams. How you gonna defend B and O? They're so bad they're beyond B/O. They're....Kim's Kids. Um.... Lady Bad Fuckers? Baylor's Badasses? The best women's team eva? Not yet, they ain't. But a coach can dream, can't he/she?

Players: Did you know that U of Hartford’s Head Coach Jen Rizzotti was Player of the Year nationally in 96 for UConn? Nationally. Her floor burns were legendary. She was the female Grant Hill: georgeous, a player, stylish, won a title and almost won another after. You don’t have to coach in the NBA or win national championships to have a good life. She has chosen to stay at one of the smaller D1 schools, and I bet she’s having fun there. I certainly hope she is. She's a doll, I just know it

First Monthly Maureen Award Goes To...

Kate Liziewski, senior C/F on McAulee High School's girls basketball team right here in Portland, ME

================

The Maureen Award is given, by me, to a male or female athlete who perseveres, competes, supports her/his teammates, listens to and respects her/his coaches, and enjoys everything about the games, despite their limited god/God given abilities

My beloved sister Maureen played JV basketball as a senior as MASH. As a senior. And she was loved by her more talented teammates

================

Who's next?

"The Grey" - Hit It

Great flick

Go see it if you're interested in what it's like

I had an awesome time. Had to pee four times I was so up

Giants vs Patriots Super Bowl....What are we up to?

Remember this, NY: The Pats best game beats your best game. No turnovers or sacks allowed by the offense and no big plays or penalties on D means a Pats win

===============

Who on the G'ints roster do I like? Lots of em...


the BC Prince

That wideout who went to school 40 minutes from me (allright, it was just one year, but hey, this is ME and we don't have any real football up here)

Coach Coughlin - When I think of Tom Coughlin I think of South Bend, ripping a national fucking championship smile off the face of that fucking D-lineman and that little shit Holtz. It's still sweet 19 years later. Man, I'm Irish too, and I don't forget

the Mara family - Have always been the most dignified of NFL owning families

Bradshaw - This guy runs hard and turns 4 yard runs into 4 yard runs

Chris Snee - Now THAT'S a cool story

Their whole D-Line - That's how the Gints beat the Pats last time, by getting pressure. The key to the game, without question. All those first rounders spent on D-Lineman have certainly paid off bigtime over the past decade. (I am shocked and pleased that Pierre-Paul is as good as he is)

Mark H - He's a god in my eyes

Zak DeOssie - Legacy. Can his Dad touch his toes yet? Fucker's arms were weirdly short

-----------------

This is, almost without a doubt, going to be Coach Coughlin's last Super Bowl (it almost certainly won't be Bill's last). I'm sure the game will be memorable, and that Coach Parcells is extremely proud of both men he knew and knows so well. These are two really good, though not historically great, football teams that can score and defend like nobody else in the league. They both deserve to be in this game. Neither team is going to be making many mistakes, so one could decide the game. The problem with preventing turnovers is that if, as a coach, you mention them, that often times will lead to them. So let's pretend I didn't mention them. Let's act as if what I said didn't even exist. OK? No?

============

What will happen Sunday evening

630pm or so - Kickoff

8pm - Halftime - Madonna has about 12 minutes to do great things. I think she will. This is also HER final Super Bowl, the last time in her life she has this big a stage to perform on, and she certainly will put on a show

10pm - Game ends. Who will win? I think the Pats are the better team, as I said, and should win if everything breaks right. But one pick, one sack/strip/recovery on Brady by that great D-Line, one fumbled punt could be the difference.

But to me, as a fan of the game and the players it's not about the final score. It's about the beauty of the competition and the competitors. So really, I know Sunday evening is going to be fun and memorable, no matter who wins

============

The numbers:

Eli could win his second ring - This would clearly make him the best QB in Giants history, over Y.A. Tittle and Phil Simms

Tom Brady could win his fourth ring - That would make him Montana's equal. His equal. That'd be cool for Tom, the franchise, all New England Patriots fans, and all the sixth rounders of the world

This would be Coach Coughlin's second as Head Man, making him a certain Hall of Famer. He deserves that for working all those Christmas Eve's and Days

This would be BB's fourth as Head Coach, making him the best football coach ever

----------------

You know, both these proud franchises took about 20 years of Super Bowls to make their first appearance. In theirs, the G-Men destroyed Elway and the Broncos, providing Tom Hanks with some fun afternoons a few years later. The Pats got annihilated by the best football team ever assembled, the '86 Bears. Since those first appearances we can't seem to get rid of them. It's been a nice run

============

Bob Kraft bought the Pats a couple of decades ago, after years of manuevering, and his family has known nothing but success on the field since the purchase. Prior to Bob's buying the team, the Pats were a bit of an NFL joke, much chronicled. The debacle in New Orleans surrounding the Parcells firing/departure worried me at the time, but history has proven that Bob Kraft may be as fine an owner as any sport in North America has ever seem. That means the DeBartolo's, the Rooneys, and Dr. Buss. This is his and his family's sixth Super Bowl appearance and could be their fourth win. Now that's something to play for, guys. We're all gonna be watching, and having a great time no matter the score

Hey! I'm Joe Sweeney!

This is my new blog!